psychoticpingouins:

48 years ago a girl said “oh fuck me” to her best friend while walking in the street, a guy who randomly passed by answered by “let me at least buy you dinner first”. I present to you my grandparents, in love since then and celebrating their 47 years of marriage today.

i’m gonna name my firstborn “arial”

and people will be like “oh like the mermaid”

and i’ll say “no like the font”

screwsociety:

you know girls can tell when you look at their boobs

i don’t care how quickly you glance, 1 second is like 5 seconds in boob time

sometimes i have self esteem but then i see a person